I had no idea there was such a thing as a "truth seeker". It kinda stinks how many times I've gone through something, thinking I was utterly alone in this process or journey and come to find that many have been there, done that, and have a whole slew of helpful advice to give.

I often wonder if part of God's plan is for me to feel completely alone so I know to lean on Him instead of a person. While leaning on people is more tangible and many times my answers are given to me sooner, I've found that not always am I comfortable with the answers from a person, even if they make the most sense or if I later on, down the road, follow that advice given. I have found that fully trusting my Lord and Savior and listening to God for what is best in my life, that the answers and guidance I am given are of His perfect timing for me. I do understand that I may lean on friends and family for answers and they may have the right ones, ones that I need to store away within my mind and heart to resurface when God feels I am ready to embrace them.

I used to think it was so easy to just do what I was told. For in doing what I was told, I didn't have to think about whether it was right or wrong nor did I have to worry about the consequences because there shouldn't be any if I'm being a good girl. And if there were consequences then surely they wouldn't be mine to bear, but the person who told me to do them had to carry it. It seemed like the perfect way to live.

In shrinking myself to fit into a mold that worked for my life as well as didn't bother those around me, I found I didn't grow at all, but only regressed. During years where I should've known myself better and should've flourished, I became less and less certain as to who I was.

"I'm a daughter of God," I would tell myself. "That is enough."

And I hoped I was right.

But in time those words became meaningless. I'm a daughter of God...of a being that I didn't even know existed other than the fact that people told me He did. I figured there had to be a God as I've witnessed many miracles, been saved from self starvation, mutilation, sleep deprivation and my suicidal thoughts.

Yet, I still didn't know Him. I felt like He was some being behind a curtain; anonymous. I couldn't understand that I could believe in His power while not even sure I knew who He was. I was taught to fear Him. And while people can give a clearer definition of what it means to "fear God", I literally feared His power; feared that any wrong move could have me losing my salvation, that that seat in heaven that had my name on it, would be empty and on display for all to see....all because I didn't choose to do what I was told.

I figured him being anonymous and behind a curtain must've meant I was doing ok (ya know, the whole "no news is good news" mindset) and was far better than going to hell with his wrath like an elevator of fire, taking me there.

It bothered me when I would try to think outside the box that this mold placed me in, that I got a raised brow, a concerned look, or a lecture on why I must stay within his box, within this mold, because this is what keeps me safe.

And, from what I sadly realized, all the urging to remain in this mold was led by nothing but fear. Fear from the most well-intended, loving people...if not from myself.

I've heard people ask what we would do if we had no fear. I'd hear people answer, "I'd finally go skydiving!" or "I'd stand up to the person that held me down all these years!" I'd find my mind running to the freedom of knowing my own truth, without anything to hold me back. I'd consider the liberation it would feel to know my own path, my own knowledge of this life, to finally feel like I'm not a walking Picasso painting. For while this mold I held myself in "worked", my truth wanted to shine through and because I would suppress myself, I became plagued with crippling anxiety.

I remember telling my husband nine years ago, "I feel like a walking germ...I feel like my insides are filthy and that people are going to sense and feel that filth and that it's gonna rub off of them!" Sitting close to someone was agony. I would cry inside, "I just showered! My hair and makeup is done! My clothes are neat and modest! Why do I feel so damn dirty! People must be seeing all this filth! Why must this person sit by me, knowing I'm so gross?"

Hindsight is a beautiful, yet tragic thing, right? Why must we have hindsight to learn? Why can't we know all the answers in the moment?

One of my favorite quotes is, "Life if understood backwards but must be lived forwards."

.....why is that my favorite quote? Because it's freakin' true. God rarely tells me anything in the exact moment it happens or in my forward thinking. Not once have I heard God say, "Hey, you may wanna grab an extra gallon of milk because your friend Tami is going to need it in a few days when her husband is out of town, her car is broken down, and she's got two sick kids." No, it's usually comes in the form of, "Oh, you may be out of milk, why don't you buy an extra gallon, just in case...and look, milk is on sale this week, whaddya know?" And so even though I come home to find that I was wrong, that I indeed have more milk than I need, it was still the segue to getting my friend that milk and His answering her prayers.

But anyways...back to hindsight and the wonderful/terrible thing that it is:

In hindsight I understand now the reason I literally felt like a Picasso painting on top of a walking pigpen. My mold was no longer (if it ever was) honoring me. I fought hard to be in this mold. But the true heart and soul of me was fighting to come out too.

But that fear.

Fear is so real. I didn't know what would happen if I stepped out of this mold while searching to know who I was. "I am a daughter of God. That is enough," would be the foundation I was hoping that I stood on as I slowly stepped out. I felt like the child who had the floaties removed from their arms before being placed in the water to swim. I felt at times like I had nothing to grab on to and worried that I was going to sink (sink into the depths of hell--my salvation was on the line, remember?) and when that became too scary, I ran back into the mold which began to be too small for me.

Just as we try to stretch out those darn jeans the moment they come out of dryer and many times we're successful it making them work, my mold was the same way, until I realized my spirit, heart and soul had become too big to fit into it anymore.

Now I must tread water, with nothing to hold on to when things get tough.

And times did. Moments were confusing. Situations became unbearable. Where must I go and who am I? What are these new emotions that I'm feeling? Who is going to give me the answers I need?

And then I heard Him. And He reminded me:

"I am a daughter of God. That is enough."

Yes! That's it. I am going to be a true daughter of my God. I'm going to give Him my life, my heart and soul, and let Him make my mold and let Him be the box that I think within.

Suddenly this anonymous Being behind the curtain came forward. Suddenly this Being came nearer to me as I drew nearer to Him. Suddenly He was giving me answers to questions and calming the confusions within me and turning them into clarity. This Being had become my anchor, my strength, my life, my companion, and we are a team.

In all relationships there is a give and take. And usually with a great relationship you don't tally that give and take as it's a constant flow of both.

I feel I take much from God. I feel He tells/shows me much and I just soak it in, trying to do my best to keep up and do what He would have me do. Many times I feel as though my giving to Him pales in comparison to how much He gives me. And during one quiet moment of reflection, when I thought about how much God gives me and how much I give back and how unequal it is, He whispered something to me and it made perfect sense...and to sum up what he said is found in this image I fell upon, a few days later:

(source: unknown, but thank you for creating it)

A true relationship is built on love. What God wants is that we are in a committed relationship to Him so He can give you that commitment back. I promise you that He will never have you doing anything that is not true within you. He knows your level of comfort and He knows your heart. You must trust Him in that.

Remember too, He hears you and will follow your lead, it's not all Him doing and you following! He will trust you! He will answer you and give you what you ask if your heart is in the right place. This should be a true relationship, a team. You work alongside each other. It's unconditional give and take, push and pull; a perfect balance.

You must trust that He's going to guide you down paths that are seemingly lonely. But you'll never be alone. You must trust that when someone tells you a "truth" and your gut churns, that it's not your truth to keep, that it's not the truth He wants you to own. And He especially doesn't want you to force it as your truth because it's either not or it's not the right time for it to be your truth. Remember, His timing is perfect and there's no bus to catch, so quit feeling like you have fallen behind when comparing yourself to others.

I read a quote about how nature is never rushed. I think about the two walnut trees in my front yard that I frankly wish weren't there (let's get real here, fall time sucks around here with all the yard work these leaves/acorns have us doing). The one on the right loses it's leaves and acorns first and then a few weeks later, the left one joins in. Same for the Spring, the right one produces leaves far before the left. And yet, they're still a part of mother nature and they're still within their season.

I think about how much God doesn't want to rush us. How much free agency we truly do have, especially when we choose to follow Him, and give Him our heart. He made us and therefore knows our speed with growth, and knows what best suits our life.

I have often wondered if what God truly wants is for us to give Him our heart. If everything in this universe is created by Him and everything falls under the direction of Him....of all His creations, He gave us CHOICE....

What if all He wants is our decision to follow Him (*our heart*)? And not man?

It sounds so oppressive to say that I'm only going to follow God when it's been quite the contrary. I've never been happier. I've never felt more free. I see God as a loving parent, sitting back and watching His child dance and twirl around in front of Him, laughing and smiling. I see Him as this parent that lets this child dance to their heart's content, not choreographing their next move to make it "better", but allowing them full self expression in this moment, and loving them all the more for it.

God wrote us, created us, built us with a perfect mind and perfect hands. He wants you to be true to yourself. He wants you to find that truth with Him. He wants to help you discover the masterpiece He made you to be.

Maybe *this* is true salvation.

*************************

Here's a couple posts that I would like to share about Truth Seekers. Please read them both if you have the time. LOL, OK, I'm a hypocrite because I just scanned these pages. Whoops. Scan them if you have the time then! ;)

And I hope that if you are seeking your own truth, that you know that you're not alone and that if I can't help you, I pray the links below can.

https://100fold.wordpress.com/2010/12/29/characteristics-of-a-truth-seeker-part-1/
https://100fold.wordpress.com/2011/01/07/characteristics-of-a-truth-seeker-part-2/

A sweet friend of mine gave me this palette.

"You mentioned in a video that you have struggled finding the perfect gray eye shadow and well...this one has two," she said with a smile.

This has easily become my most favorite drug store palettes.

If you follow me on YouTube, you'll see that I've been trying out different eye shadow palettes from the dollar store (Dollar Tree) and so far have been pleasantly surprised.

But this past week I've found myself running to this palette more than any other. I am also wearing it in my most recent video (at the end).

Since I've been trying out different dollar store eye shadow palettes, I feel as though I've been walking around with many-a-color on my eyes.

And then bring on the Fourth of July when I sported this eye look:

I mean, c'mon, when can I wear bright red and bright blue on my eyes together and not feel silly? Confession: I was going to do one eye all red and the other eye all blue when, just as I was about to apply the eye shadow, my husband walks into the room with, "Hey, can you make a run to the store for me?"

So I chickened out and did this.

(Follow me HERE on Instagram!)

Needless to say, I needed a break from the bright/bold/deep colors. 

I found myself craving the more natural look, the more nudey colors. 

Here is a mini-demo on how I acquired that. You don't necessarily need this palette, just a cream/white and a neutral/light brown eye shadow will do!

Sooooooooo.......let's get started:

A couple of examples below. Very natural, very serene. Very much a "no makeup makeup" look (LAWLS, that is, for someone like me who loves a good drama on the eyes and wears it on the regular).

 

Here's how I created the look. Like I told ya, super easy. The liquid liner is optional. You can replace it with a pencil liner, or no liner at all. But since I've been sporting "wings" for five years now, I literally feel naked without them and will end up not being able to look myself in the mirror, no matter what time of day it is, until I put them back on. Even if it's bedtime (but I never last that long). #pathetic

Here's a close up. I placed the cream eye shadow on brow bone and then on my lid. The brown I put on the crease and blended it upward towards my brow bone (for a smooth transition between colors and because I have hooded lids--#blessed--and if I don't do that, my lid will look heavy and I'll look tired). I also applied the brown toward the outer corner of my lid before dragging it along my lower lid and although it's not too noticeable, it's subtle enough for me to like it better than without.

Oh and that white that is under my eye that looks like the eyeshadow on my brow and lid, that's concealer because 30 happened and if I don't cover my bags, those 6 hours of incredible sleep I got, will show up as a lie.

Here's a breakdown of the products:

Milani Smoky Essentials: between $8-$10

L.A. Colors Brown Liquid Eyeliner: $1 at Dollar Tree (I freakin' LOVE this stuff)

Maybelline Falsies Push Up Drama Mascara: $8 at Walmart. This stuff is BOMB.

Elf Bronzer and Blush colors Turks & Caicos: $3 at Walmart

So let's say you still want a more "nude" look with warmer, perhaps deeper, all-around more inviting colors AND with a cheaper palette?

I've got you covered!

Welcome L.A. Colors Haute Palette

(Source. I also adjusted the colors to be more true to the palette in real life.)

Here's the look I created with this. While Milani is my favorite drug store palette, Haute is my absolute favorite dollar store (Dollar Tree) palette.

(Potential thumbnail for a recent video. Girl needs to sit up straight!)

Here's how it's done (below). If you are interested in seeing a mini-demo of me using this palette, let me know in the comments! I'm more than likely recreating this look at least twice a week anyway and--as you can tell by the picture below, I already beat this palette up quite a bit before saying, "Oh yeah, maybe I should take a picture of the palette now before I hit pan (which I did a few days ago)."

I love creating these looks! Are there any palettes you enjoy to use for the more "natural", "no makeup makeup" look? Please let me know in the comments!

Have a great one!

I got new jammies!

Every Christmas Eve each member of the family gets new jammies.

It would be a shame to have gone this whole year, with my new obsession of plaid, and not make sure that the theme of our family's pajamas is PLAID.

I love how my family opened presents with their new jammies and instead of groveling over a pattern that they've certainly seen too much of, said, "These are so cool!"

Christmas was the day that I planned on staying in my jam-jams all day long. But that didn't happen. 

Instead I planned it for today. 

Monday.

I think all Mondays should be jammie wearing day, IMHO.

It's the 28th of December and while I'm sure someone's partying somewhere, it's a sure boring day over here.

I've been asked "What can I do? Who can I play with?" four times today. Just now I was asked, "Can you see if so-and-so can play tomorrow?"

Apparently the new presents Santa provided aren't near as fun to play with when the weather went through a forty degree drop overnight.

Ok, first off, last week's weather was freakin' AMAZING.

I swear this was an answer to my last three years' prayers. My gym friend and I have loathed the cold weather and every morning would shiver our tails off while waiting for those blasted gym doors to open. I feel like our cries were finally heard.

Global warming? BRING IT. It sure makes for a better workout anyway! ;)

......................................................................................................

Annnnnnnnywayyyyyys.

To get to the brunt of this post:

I realized that my last blog post may have come off like I was complaining.

Or depressed.

Or anxious.

Or tired.

Or any emotion other than happy.

"It does sound like a bummer post, doesn't it?" I asked Mr Hunter last night, while reading through it one last time.

Mr Hunter shrugged and smiled, saying, "I thought it was very sweet what you said about me though."

I want you all to know that I'm doing so well right now.

The first of the year wasn't too bad. 

And then as the year progressed, it became less enjoyable and more life learning.

I'm still considering writing another post about all I learned so I'll skip to October.

October was The Great Shift in my life. It was that month when I felt like all those angels I've leaned on for support, care, to hold me while I tackled my demons, finally took a step back, loosened their grip around me and said, "Ladee, be free. You can do this."

(I saved this on my computer this summer, posted it on FB and can't find it online to source it. If this is your photo, contact me and I will source you.)

From then on I was changed. 

But in a good way.

Actually, in a GREAT WAY.

I felt like my soul was in hibernation; going through extensive amounts of questioning and learning, healing, searching for inner truth; an internal whirlwind. My soul went through such a concentration of highs and lows, comfort and loss in a few short months than I have experienced in years combined. 

But finally: I found freedom.

(Source. Thank you!)

And never doubting once that God had ever left my side.

I realized just how many things held me down. Things that I thoroughly believed were to uplift me, were actually the shackles that imprisoned me my whole life.

I was robbed. So robbed.

Letting go of all the "fluff" as I call it, and holding tight to God, Christ, and my family; the bare essentials, and letting go of everything that doesn't feel right within me, has given me such freedom and a happiness so rich I have felt at times my heart would burst.

While I know I could write more and go into way more depth than I am right now, I leave my readers with this:

If ____ (you fill in the blank) doesn't honor you, doesn't make your soul sing, doesn't bring you PURE joy and happiness, doesn't have you waking up proud of the person you are...

LET IT GO.

If it's a person you must keep in your life (example: a family member that you love dearly), LET GO of the way they feel about you/your situation/your decisions. Let them think and judge and act for themselves, but don't allow it to affect you. The moment you don't let their thoughts/words affect you is the moment you're liberated.

For if you are truly happy, does it mater what anyone thinks? Would you rather be unhappy but keep them happy? How unfair that is. To sacrifice your happiness, forgo what God wants you to have most, for someone else's opinion to be the way they want about you.

So, going back to my last post, this year wasn't catastrophic, although it sounds like it. It had it's ups and it sure had some downs.

And yeah, I'm really, really ready for the year to be over. Because I'm so excited to start new, with a new me of sorts.

But I've never been happier.

And I've never felt more loved and more free.

<3

First and foremost: MERRY CHRISTMAS!

I kept kicking myself this holiday season because as much as I tried, I couldn't get myself to be motivated to make my tree look like last year's.

 (Decemeber 2014)

Or like anyone's, for that matter.

I pulled out the tree and the lights early this month but found myself just not in the mood to do even that. I kept delaying the ornament hanging to "tomorrow"; a word that I love and a word that I love to hate.

My son pulled out the silvery-blue Christmas bulbs that we have had for the past several years and added them to the tree, bless his heart. I handed each family member their new ornament for the year, to which we hung.

But that was it.

I did buy two new boxes of white lights to add to our tree though because nothing is prettier than a tree so full of lights that the neighbors living behind us wonder if the darn thing is aflame.

I wish I could pinpoint why I don't have the motivation to decorate much this year.

I often wonder if it's because this year is much different than 2014. In some ways good and in other ways not as good. I wouldn't say this year was catastrophic. All years have their ups and downs. Maybe my tree is looking more "plain" because this year I've come to find that the simple things in life are the things to be most valued.

Or maybe it's because I'm just super ready to have this year over.

I've learned a lot this year.

And while I know that I will never go a day in this life without learning, I have felt that a lot of *life lessons* were made this year; lessons that I will no doubt carry with me throughout the rest of my existence.

I felt like 2015 was another 2011, in many ways. It was great and terrible. And life changing.

But I have nothing but gratitude towards our Lord and our God that it happened. I know that all things happen for a reason. I know too that all lessons learned are times when God sits back quietly, much like a teacher does during an exam, to see how we'll handle these hard times but ready to help the moment your hand is raised.

I'm grateful too for a patient and caring husband. I feel like I've dragged him through these changes of mine, whether he liked it or not and at the end of each day he would hold me close, told me of his support and helped comfort me so I could rest a little more easy.

I have found how important family is this year. How I cherish each one of my children in a way more rich and deep than I have in years past. And I cherish the lives of my friends and their family a little more too.

After all, life is truly about enjoying the simple things. For without simple things, there's no great rewards.

Maybe I'll do another blog post or video, about all this year has taught me.

But for now, I want to wish you, my readers, a Merry Christmas.

And I want you to know how much I love you. How much I appreciate you. How much your kindness and support has meant so much to me and has been something I have leaned on heavily during those days when I felt hopeless. I know I've been absent many times during these trials, but you've been understanding, held no judgement and I knew I always had open arms to run to.

May you be blessed. Loved. Cherished. Held close. Know your value.

And thank you, again.

I found this beautiful, wannabe vintage desk (American Signature) and chair on craigslist this summer and like the wonderful person Mr Hunter is, helped me get it for cheaper than the asking price and said, "Tell the guy we'll be there in 30 minutes."

How I love that my husband can drop everything for a moment to do something for me, when he doesn't have to.

I probably spend most of my free time here. This is where I catch up with friends, edit my videos, write these blog posts and I even snapchat, frequently, from here. The glow from my laptop screen helps with my phone's poor resolution with indoor lighting. ;) That, or I'm lazy and would just prefer to live all day on this chair.

I learn from here, study from here, post about life and the hard times that can happen from here. I've laughed until I cried and I've been frustrated enough to scream and I've been full of tears that were of happiness and sorrow. This little nook knows just about all of my emotions better than any place on Earth.

I'm constantly grateful for the many blessings of the internet and for all that came along with it these years. But of all those things, I'm most grateful for the opportunity I, and many others have, to be able to be a blogger, to write, to share our innermost thoughts, our life, our tips, our laughs and cries in our little nook on the internet.

I met a man a couple weeks ago. I was looking for curtains through WalMart's clearance section. He was close by and came up to talk to me. He was an easy person to talk to; someone who, like me, loves to ask questions, loves to know about the lives of others, loves to know why we're here at this time and what that could possibly make of our destiny. One thing that stood out to me most is how his life was and is completely opposite of mine; his past, the now, and probably his future. And yet, our completely opposite lives brought us to a silly store, at the same time, in a random spot in the middle of WalMart.

After our conversation he asked, "So what are you going to do with all this knowledge you have?"

I wasn't sure the question he was asking. In my mind I'm thinking about how I praise my Lord and God for all the knowledge, blessings, LIFE that I have. So, if anything, I give thanks.

"You need to write it. All of it. And you need to let others know," he answered himself.

"Oh," I said, snapping myself out of my mind, "I already do that!"

He seemed genuinely pleased. "Good. You have a story to tell, an incredible mind, intuitive heart, and you can't live this life without writing it down."

For all those that are considering taking up journaling by writing, blogging, vlogging, a picture a day, voice recording or any form of documentation:

Start now.

There's no wrong way to portray what's on your mind. There's no wrong way to express how you feel. There's no rules in journaling. It's your life's history! It's The Story of You.

Trust Your Story.

...and document it.

I tend to get sick twice a year.

Once when it starts getting cold, and again when the weather starts warming up.

Yesterday I awoke with the scratchy, pinching throat and my sinuses felt loose and sloshy. On top of that, for it being a sleep-in Saturday, I was uncommonly tired considering how well and how long I slept.

My health was on the decline. I took medicine, vitamin C, and caffeine and hoped, out of all of those, that something would make me feel better.

I was wrong. My body became tired from being so sick I crashed on the couch come 9pm.

This morning I awoke with my head throbbing, my body weak, my stomach gurgling.

While I committed myself to putting on hair and makeup (as I always feel better after that), I decided I would sport the day in my PJs: an oversized shirt and oversized yoga pants.

That is, until Mr Hunter called. Mr Hunter was about 45 minutes away and was supposed to be home this morning but plans had changed.

"Could you bring me my laptop, charger, and a set of extra clothes?" he asked.

So I changed my pants, put on some shoes, put the kiddos in the car and we road-tripped for almost two hours.

But first, my daughter snapped a couple photos.

And thankfully, I felt pretty good...until coming home where I took a solid, two hour nap.

While not everyone who watches my videos reads my blog, I have figured that not everyone that reads my blog watches my videos!

So I'm saving you the hassle of reading my ramblings when you now can listen to them! You're welcome!

Mr Hunter now has what I had. It's interesting how he seems to have the same sickness, but other parts of the illness are more intense than others. While I have a mild cough, which is now rearing it's head after being sick for a week, he has started this sickness with a violent one. He got little sleep last night, ran a fever, and is feeling those aches and pains.

I am certain that I was coming off as a big faker this last week, complaining of tiredness, staying in bed most of the day, ditching out on our routine of watching Netflix every night, ignoring chores around the house even though once I was up I appeared, for the most part, just fine....only to come crashing down after a couple hours and crawling back into bed, in hopes of catching a few minutes sleep. I even left groceries in their plastic bags since Wednesday. If it didn't need to go in the fridge or freezer, I left them in their bags and this morning finally put them away.

Coming from an outside perspective I looked far more "lazy" than I did "sick".

The million dollar question is: Did you tell him, "I told you so"?

Yes, I did, in a non-verbal meany way by making him cancel his appointments, stay in bed, layer him in warm blankets, turned that blasted phone OFF, against his will, as that thing alarms him several times an hour and he jumps to answer it, give him medicine around the clock, get him whatever he needs and let me treat him like a baby. ;)

Every now and then, say, every few months, I will scroll through my phone's gallery, usually with a child peering over my shoulders, looking at all the pictures I've taken, the videos where I captured a moment I didn't want to forget, and hilarious or inspirational quotes I've downloaded from all over the web...half the time moving my phone's from said child's eyes and clicking the back button as my form of humor may not compute, or be as innocent, as his/hers, while telling him/her that it's time to go do something productive before their brain could catch up long enough to ask what in the world it was that I was hiding from them.

I thought it would be fun to share these moments with you, to let you in on that little black, handheld device that I carry around in my back pocket, against my backside, or in the compartment in my purse next to where I hold my mace.

Here lies all my secrets. LOL, or LACK THEREOF.

Yesterday I went to the store to grab some groceries.

Right out of the blue I get this thought to buy this:

(source--thank you!)

I have a history with this dessert. We go way back. And even though I am the world's biggest Reese's fan, so much so that I am confident the only reason this company remains in business because of me, you're welcome, I don't have the happiest of memories with this dessert.

I'm going to take a wild guess that this product came out around 2005 because that's when this girl was introduced to it and once it was brought to my attention that I could pretty much have an 8x8inch sized peanut butter cup, I shelled out money right and left that was budgeted for the gas bill to get me some...the struggle was so real.

Alas, the fault is not Reese's. Nor Betty Crocker.

The fault is mine because, well, momma over here couldn't get enough of this dessert and ate it on the regular right around the time that I got pregnant with my second child, and therefore this go-to addiction came along with me as I entered into my season of nausea.

Then one day, nearly going bankrupt buying my 187th box of this delicious treat in a little over three months, I finished the prolonged task of making it and then took a bite.

And it tasted....gross.

It tasted like how I had been feeling every morning I woke up after eating nearly a whole pan of this dessert. It tasted like how I felt the moment before I ran to the toilet, in hopes I bend over it in time. This was when Mr Hunter's lack of skill in putting down the toilet seat was a godsend.

It tasted like misery. It tasted like my head leaning against the wall that the toilet sat next to as I slowly counted to ten to calm my squeezing stomach. It tasted like the tissue I would use to blow my nose to rid it of the acidic burn. It tasted like the spiked water that I sipped on after everything was said and done.

And so I didn't buy it again. For years.

Every time I look at this delicious dessert, I can taste the misery and the nausea and the dull ache in my head and stomach.

I keep a box around, sitting by the bed, as nothing could possibly make a better birth control reminder than that.

Ok, I'm totally kidding.

But it is a good idea now that I'm thinking about it. ;)

Well, back to yesterday, I was at the store when I get this feeling to buy it. I knew I wouldn't be eating it but I remember thinking, "This would be a fun activity for Girl Bunny and Boy Lyon to do, as it is no bake and they have been wanting to help me more with cooking and baking."

I walk up to get it and while the flooding memories and feelings come back, I grab the box when I think, "But this isn't the most healthy treat...and we are trying to be more health conscious as a family...I wouldn't be setting a good example...." and so I put it back.

I get home from the store when Girl Bunny asks if she could invite her friend over to spend the night. And not only could this girl spend the night, but it was also the night before her birthday.
This girl is probably the easiest person to please. She just blends in with the family, becomes one of our own, I never have to worry about her, it's like she's my own child when she's here.

But every time she comes over, I get her and Girl Bunny a treat or, an activity to do.....

........annnnnnnnnnnnd that is exactly what this Reese's No Bake dessert is.

And here is when I started kicking myself.

Sometimes we get thoughts, or feelings, to do/say things, and while mine was extremely trivial and even silly, as you might consider it, we mustn't let reason tell it "no".
Sometimes a thought is planted in our minds, "Hey, why don't you buy that so Girl Bunny and Boy Lyon could do this..." when the real reason for the purchase of the item was so that I could have a treat and activity for the friend coming over.

I have found that when I feel prompted to do something, the reason I do it is completely different from the outcome.

Needless to say, Mr Hunter made a special trip to the store that evening.

And I made a special reminder to myself to quit second guessing and letting reason snuff the silly promptings I get.

This summer while I was learning a whole slew of things, Mr Hunter was learning something too.

Like, "how many drum sets and drum parts can one fit into a 350 square foot room?"

Mr Hunter loves a bargain. He loves the whole "buy low, sell high" game and I tell ya, this man is incredible at it. My "surprise" reaction has become desensitized with just how easily these deals fall into his hands. Law of attraction much? I've finally convinced him the universe is on his side now. ;) Yet, he never falls short of that high he gets from a great deal and I still find it adorable how he giggles like a child Christmas morning just before the deal goes through; him selling the item for a considerable profit.

How that happiness I see on his face is worth far more to me than most things...

...like having the purpose of a room changed into another purpose.

Since this summer, drums have been the theme in this buying/selling game. And while I took these pictures, the title of this post was the exact words I said to him.

Two drum sets in a room doesn't look too bad, right?

How about from this angle? Photobomb by Boy Dolphyn, the shirtless muscle man.

Zoom out this is how the room really looks. I have no shame posting this online but if you were to come over to my house and see this, I would be mildly mortified. And by mildly I mean I would go hide into my room until you left.

Mr Hunter's snare drum collection just had to be put on display if we're going to have them for a while, right? When I mentioned my desire to use these items for decorative purposes, Mr Hunter became a deer in headlights. But when he saw this, my decorating skills became welcome. We're considering adding the mess of cymbals he has on the walls. 

These cymbals. Believe me when I say that this collection has grown.

And I think we have more stands than fingers and toes on all five of us living under this roof! 

Oh, did I say we have two drum sets in this room? I forgot, I meant THREE. 

But my all-time, favorite part of these summer deals is when we took the parts of another drum set Mr Hunter bought and I turned one bass drum into....

A toy box. I love it! Whodathunk that drums can be multi-purposeful! And had the rest of that drum set's drum shells had not been ruined, I would've used them as storage for other things. 

No worries, I'm confident I'll have another chance to do that. :)

Do you ever compromise things for those you love? As hard as it is?? Sure, I'd like to have my sitting/laundry folding room back, as well as a broad walkway to the laundry room and garage. But seeing my husband's talent being put to use makes me just plain happy.

That man seriously needs to open a shop though, before the whole house looks like this! ;)