I recently experienced the ever popular statement of "I no longer recognize myself in the mirror". 

Because I still see myself as this:

(Ladee's Senior Picture)

My face was so youthful, so line-less, so smooth. I was constantly mistaken as being my younger sister's age while everyone assumed she was my age.

How I hated that.

"Just wait, Ladee," Mom would tell me, "when you're in your thirties everyone will think you're in your twenties!"

And while I still beam brighter than noonday sun when I hear strangers, new friends, and even my kids' friends say that I look like I'm 21, I know how I used to look and I want to stop, at all costs, the aging that is continuing to progress.

Here's a video where I review a product that claims to remove all the issues I have of my face.

Listen as I let you know if it worked for me.

We all have that one night where we get no sleep. How it affects your day. How it changes your mood. How it affects the way you eat and what you consume (copious amounts of caffeine, much?).

I'm used to a day, here or there, of no sleep. That's the problem with being a thinker, and over thinking things, even the smallest things that no matter how many times I think it over and over again that it won't change the past, present, or future. A sad reality that has taken me years to accept. 

But it still doesn't stop my mind from the intense wandering until 30 minutes before my alarm clock goes off, to which it shuts down and I finally find dreamland. 

How unfair and cruel my mind can be.

I'm also used to having a couple days, in a row, of no sleep, thanks to said mind.

But after the third day of no sleep, my anxiety kicks in. I am more startled, I have a harder time falling asleep due to this startling. Any sound has my heart racing and putting me back at square one in my feeble attempts at rest. I am also restless and uneasy, wired and dizzy.

In this video (made yesterday, Friday, April 24) I had gone four nights without sleep. A whole 96 hours awake with only 12 hours of sleep. I tried sleeping in when I could. I really tried napping. And I wasn't successful. 

I had fallen into a deep sleep about an hour before I had to get ready for a dental visit. I wanted so bad to stay in bed. But I couldn't. This was a special dental visit that had to be made on this day, at this time. 

So come watch as I ramble on and on about more-or-less nothing, as you take a car ride with me to find a new dentist office in the middle of nowhere, so much so that my GPS couldn't even find it.

P.S. I finally got some sleep last night. I went to bed and DIDN'T MOVE until my alarm went off this morning. My head hit the pillow and within minutes, I was out. It was glorious. 

We have our little secrets, right?

Well here I share a few of mine.

Read below where I talk about one of my most embarrassing moments, a memory I couldn't remember for the video, and now I know why!

There's reasons why I suppress old memories!

But I promised I'd write it down for ya'll and so, here ya go.

As you can tell, I could not remember a most embarrassing memory. 

And I remember WHY I don't allow myself to remember past embarrassing memories after unearthing this one from the deepest realms of my mind. LOL

One day my two friends and I were over at another friend's house, jumping on her trampoline. We were playing "Crack The Egg"; where you sit criss-crossed, holding your feet with your hands. The object of the game is that if you're the "egg", you try to remain "unbroken" while your friends jump around you, trying to free your hands and feet. Once they've done that, you've lost. The quicker they can "crack" you, the more of a wimp you are.

My friend and I were both the "egg" while my other two friends jumped around us. I ended up with one free hand, my other friend still intact and we were both on our side, immovable. My friends were laughing about how my other "egg" friend's head was right up against my tush and so with my free hand, I tried to push her away and give us both some space. When I realized that no matter how great of effort my poor friend, who, God bless her had the determination to not break free from being an "egg" so she could win, decided having her face against my backside worth it, I lost it and laughed so hard I peed my pants (of course AFTER I had separated myself from her and jumped off the trampoline).

I was dubbed the name PeeBody for several years afterwards. 

I was out with a couple of friends when the subject of another friend came up.

"I haven't seen Sally in a while," the friend to my left says, "is she doing ok?"

Sally had recently confided in me things that I shared with no one. I knew the information given to me was of a sensitive nature and therefore, I, being a friend of hers that I want her to trust, considered how I would answer this question. I thought of saying, "I think she's just needing a break right now" or "She's probably been busy", as I didn't want to appear like I knew too much (as we all can't stand knowing that someone knows more information of another than you do, right?).

Before I could decide which answer was a better fit, the friend on my right (Mary) says loudly and confidently, "Honey, you don't want to know...."

The thoughts in my head came to a screeching halt as I look over at Mary. As far as I knew, Sally and Mary were not close. They knew each other, though. But I hardly believed Sally was sharing such sensitive information that she felt she could confide in me in, to someone she hardly knew.

That was when I asked, "Oh, did Sally tell you what was going on?"

"No," she answered, "But Sally is close to Jackie and Jackie told me."

I realized something that day. Something about Mary and Jackie that ultimately changed the person that I wanted to be.

I never wanted to be known as a busy body, or someone that people assume they can trust with sensitive matters, and go tell someone else about it. 

There's a reason why YOU are the person a friend turns to when they want to talk. It's because they feel they have a sense of comradery with YOU. That YOU are a soft place to land. That what YOU are being told, is safe within YOU.

There's a reason why they didn't tell your best friend Mary. There's a reason why they didn't tell any other person they may know. 

So why make someone's business someone else's? 

Watch as I talk a little more about gossip, how it affects you and those around you. And how you can avoid it and be the driving force to stop the spread of it.

*Names have been changed. Duh. 

Oh the joys of looking through your phone at the old videos once recorded.

I thought we'd have fun looking at these videos together!

My kids are the light of my life. No one makes me prouder, happier, and laugh louder than my kids.
But let's get real, no one can drive me from sanity to the loony bin faster either. ;)

Follow me as I share a few small glimpses into my life and get to know us a little more.