For Christmas, my friend Jami surprised me with this palette.

Because she's the best.

Because she seems to have this knack to know what colors would look great on me.

Because she firmly believes that some of the best makeup you can find is at the drugstore.

I agree with her on that one...only because I've never bought expensive makeup to compare. #Cheap With the vast amount of makeup knowledge she has, I'll take her word.

Ain't this purdy?

I've worn no other eyeshadows since opening the package. I'm sold. I'm committed. Give me these colors for the rest of my life and I won't sway from them.

I considered doing make up videos using this palette on my channel, but for whatever reason, I can't seem to motivate myself.

Actual Reason: The past makeup videos I have done I've been grossly unimpressed with how I portray myself.

I come off sloppy, unintelligent, distracted...even though those three words make great adjectives to my day-to-day life, that doesn't mean I need to be like that on camera, for crying out loud. 

#MotherOf3

(#WasLikeThisBeforeChildren)

But then another part of me is all, "Well, you're being REAL, so."

...so, in other words, I may do these makeup looks in the future, on my channel.

#TheStruggleIsReal

But for now I'm going to show you how to make a subtle, but sexy, smoky eye, using three colors from this palette.

If you'd like to see a video of me with this exact look, click here! In this video I talk about how I create the perfect eyebrow color to match my red hair; answering my most frequently asked question.

Do you have this palette?

What are your thoughts?

What are your favorite colors?

I think too much.

But then again, I can't fathom a life of not thinking. Granted I know we all think, but I have no idea how it feels to make a quick decision with little consideration as to how this thought came to be, how it will affect me, and how it will affect my future.

The other day I was thinking about destiny.
Yep, just plain, old, what-will-come-out-of-my-life destiny.

I had this thought and sent it to a friend:

"Destiny. I wonder how our angels feel when they know that the destiny has to change...maybe they have known, all along, that what you thought your destiny was, really isn't to happen."

My friend came back with:

"It must be part of the plan. Maybe seeing the possibility of (this destiny) will motivate (one) to pursue it for (themselves)."

I don't know why I'm writing this. I don't know why I'm sitting here, at all. All I know is that my butt is glued to this chair and I feel a desire to write, as though being prompted to even though I have no idea what this blog post is to be about and how it'll end.

How often do we fight for our destiny? Do we assume that our destiny is something that just happens? Destiny seems like a word that is used when looking at the past, as though we have no control over it:

"It was our destiny to meet."
"It must be destiny that I got this job, because..."
"Destiny had me moving to..."

Can't we control our destiny?

Many would say yes, I assume. I've only seen hundreds of picture-quotes littering my Facebook newsfeed these past several years, as well as scattered among the walls of those I follow on Instagram, on this very subject. See here for more.

So that must mean that we know we can choose our own destiny, much like the Choose Your Own Adventure books...we choose and there's always another choice down the road, until we die (to which then we'll backtrack and choose another option to keep us living a little longer. LOL, or was that just me?).

In looking at Google images at all the destiny picture quotes that I linked above, my eye caught this one, maybe because it's listed first. Maybe because it's in bold. Maybe because it's simple and profound:

This leaves me with two thoughts...do you choose your destiny, or do you live and let destiny choose itself?

How would you answer this?

Before I do, I would like to share something. My friend lost her close friendship with another due to a small misunderstanding. The summer then happened, where they were apart for three months, and when they got back together, everything was off and awkward and *painful*. My friend has spent many hours talking with me about this, in torment of the situation at hand, wanting nothing more than her friend back. In tears she'd ask me:

"Why did this have to happen?"
"What could I have done to change it?"
"What can I do to make it better?"
"Why does everything I try, not work?"

In the quiet moment of her tears, a thought popped in my head. Words that I didn't want to say, words that had me worrying I'm the worst giver of advice, spewed out. "Sweetie, I have a feeling that no matter what--misunderstanding with your friend or not--this was meant to be the outcome. That puts you in a frustrating situation. So you must move forward, knowing that all the love you have for your friend, won't change the past...but you can move forward and choose whether to keep fighting for this friendship, or let this friend go, in love. And maybe, hopefully, the friendship will return. But you always make sure they know you still care for them."

I like the idea of choosing your destiny. I like the idea that destiny could be changed when the heart of one has. I like the idea that destiny could be changed when we choose to let go of things that don't honor us and search for what does. I like the idea that destiny can be more tangible than just the thought, "I'll live my life and what will be, will be."

I like too, the idea of fighting for your destiny. Of looking at your options and saying that you want none of it, but will fight for what's right for you, no matter the costs, no matter what person or circumstance holds you back. That's admirable. That's inspirational. Those are the people I look up to.

I want to choose my destiny. I want to fight for it as well. I want to believe that I can know my destiny too.

I guess that's all I wanted to say. :)





 P.S. (Found this with the Google Image search. I love it!)